He refuses to interact with you at work.

Posted on May 31, 2012 by bigredflags

I was taking phone inventory at work one day when I had to interact with this computer clerk. He’s the only person remotely close to my age through out the building, so I guess he decided this meant I automatically wanted to be friends with him. There was an error with his office phone number in our mail server (the wrong one was entered into the system) so I instant messaged him letting him know I sent in a request to have it changed to the correct phone number. After I told him that, I really didn’t need to talk to him anymore. However, he continued the conversation eventually bringing up his two exotic pets. I didn’t mind talking to him over IM because it was a slow day and he seemed nice enough. Well, about a half hour before I got off work, he came down to my cubicle to talk to me in person. He tried walking me to the door, but I had to visit with my boss quickly on my way out, so he followed me to her office (uninvited) before realizing I’d
be in there for a minute.

The next day, he IM’d me the moment I got online and we talked some more, about school and his pets, again. Also, again, a half hour before I was supposed to get off work, he came down to my cubicle to talk to me until I had to leave. Only this time my boss was in a meeting, so I couldn’t use her as an escape. He walked with me outside, talking the whole way. It really wasn’t too bad, until he followed me to my car. Then he invited me to come over to his place sometime to meet his pets. I was too polite to just say ‘no’ so I told him “we’ll see”. That was on a Friday.

Once Monday rolled around, I was about to leave for lunch when he came bounding around the corner to my cubicle with a gift in his hands. He gave it to me saying how it was “sweet and sugary” and reminded him of me. I awkwardly accepted the gift, set it on my desk unopened, and hurried off to lunch. After returning to my desk I decided to unwrap the gift. Inside were some honey sticks, tea, and a chap stick. I left everything in its cellophane wrapping (which was underneath his wrapping) and set it aside. I discussed the situation with my boss and she told me I needed to nip it at the bud. So I did.

Now he refuses to even look in my direction when I need to talk to him about business. Can you imagine if I actually dated him? I sure dodged that crazy bullet.

She stalks you … for twenty years.

Posted on May 10, 2012 by bigredflags

Twenty years ago, while I was in high school, I started dating this preppy girl who seemed nice. Within a few weeks I noticed she was really spoiled and controlling, and she would freak out really bad if she didn’t get her way. We broke up like kids do and went our separate ways. A month later, she showed up at the skate park I was at dressed to the hilt in skate gear. She started hanging out there everyday, giving me dirty looks and hanging around my crew. I was polite, and mostly ignored her. That entire year she followed me everywhere I went, trying to get people to fight me, insulting my friends, whatever she could do for attention. I continued to ignore her. For the next nine years, she followed my friends and family around, screaming out her car window and harassing my girlfriends. She even tried to run over one of my friends with her car when he told her to get lost. We all ignored her and only paid enough attention to her to politely ask her to go away.

Finally her coddling parents put her on medication after the school demanded it, and I moved halfway across the country with friends. A month or so after moving, I was invited to a party by some new people, and who was there? You guessed it. I decided to finally deal with this once and for all and asked her why she was stalking me. She replied, “You didn’t care about me and ignored me. I don’t like that.” I told her to f*ck off ,that I wanted to be left alone, and quietly moved again, going completely underground this time. I avoided everyone from where we grew up. Ten years went by, and I slowly started visiting my old hometown to see family. Within a month she was living a block from me even though I hadn’t told anyone where I lived. Then I started getting crank calls at work. I had to change jobs. I spoke to the cops and because I can’t prove it’s her and she hasn’t physically attacked me they won’t do anything. It’s been twenty years of this sickness, and all because of a two-week relationship when I was fourteen. I hate her.

He’s a Nazi.

Posted on May 8, 2012 by bigredflags

I had the new guy I was dating over to my parents house for dinner and my family started talking about my five great uncles who fought in World War II. My father then showed him the Nazi belt one of my great uncles had taken off a German soldier, explaining that that particular uncle was vehemently opposed to racism. The guy never said anything, but after that night he started avoiding me and then all together stopped returning my phone calls. Wondering what was up, I crept his facebook profile for a clue and found a picture of him and his buddies standing in front of a four-wheeler with a giant red swastika painted on it.

He thinks single women REALLY love dogs.

Posted on April 24, 2012 by bigredflags

I once dated a guy, who was in his thirties mind you, who thought that single women who were over the age of 31 and owned large dogs were having sex with their dogs. He said this to me one day completely straight-faced and seriously, as if it were a fact that everyone knew and accepted.

He’s only trying to help you stay thin.

Posted on March 26, 2012 by bigredflags

On our third or fourth date we decided to go to the movies, so I suggested that we stop somewhere on the way and buy treats to smuggle into the theater (because movie theater candy is ridiculously expensive). We stopped and I picked up some Raisinettes. When he saw my choice, he said “Oh, but you have such a lovely figure and I really want to support you in keeping it. Let’s get something that’s not so fattening.” Red flag number one.

The second red flag was his insisting that I let him see me without makeup on. Not that I wear much makeup to begin with, just some foundation and mascara, but he proclaimed that my made-up face was a mask. That it was false, like I was perpetrating fraud. So I told him that I thought he wanted to date a woman who took pride in her appearance. That pride meant that I wanted to look my best when I saw him, and that I thought he would be happy about that. Yet he continued to push.

I’m no longer dating him. I’ve seen these red flags before, ignored them and wound up wasting a couple years of my life with a control freak. Never again.